Friday, 23 December 2011

Going Under...

Going Under...

Yes, I love it when I‘m in it up to my neck, when small pearls of perspiration gather on my upper lip right before the wave comes crashing over me and I‘m going under. 

It‘s bathing day!

I confess, I belong to the group of eco-monsters who occasionally fill their bathtub up to the rim with hot water, turning their bathroom into a steaming Roman Therm.

People who believe taking a bath is about getting clean haven‘t understood a thing! To get clean, I take a shower. Taking a bath is not a cleaning procedure. It is a ritual, an inner attitude. I don‘t want to feel pushed anymore. I want to float for a while.

A bath does not only relax my muscles, it turns me into a better person. Into this sweet-smelling, soft, light-hearted being that is completely at ease in her own body - not  least because of the water‘s uplift.

A handful of whey, a dash of scented oil and I am Cleopatra.

During the cold, dark winter days my best friends are „Vanilla Skies“, „Happy Bath“ and „Relax Oasis“. Stress and anger are dripping off, leaving me with a feeling of invulnerability.

There are said to be people who believe a hot shower is a suitable alternative to a hot bath. It is thanks to those douche bags that under the guise of so called modernization many bathtubs are ripped out to be replaced with space-saving shower cubicles.

How ignorant! A regression in favor of pragmatism, I think - no doubt, the works of men.

Even my fellow lodger (aka best hubby in the world) regards a bath as only a supporting measure to fight off imminent death, triggered by a running nose. A bath essence? Nahh... "Mountain Pine", if need be, anything else he considers knickknacks. As soon as I take out a „mint-chocolate-chips“ bath cream or a „peach-almond-oil“ essence, he grabs a spoon and asks with a smug grin: „Do you still need that or may I eat it?“ I guess that answers the question whether he thinks a shared bath could turn into a sensual experience.

By the way, the perfect bath temperature is reached when the water from the faucet feels a tad too hot on your skin and dunking your big toe into the tub sends goosebumps all over your body.

Soon, the quiet little room is cloaked in scented mist. Time to go under with style.

The water flooding my ears is drowning out all noises and anger vanishes into thin air - just like the little bubbles floating on the surface and tingling on my skin. I look at my toes and think about:  


The perfect state of mind and soul which I‘m only willing to give up after my fingertips have shriveled up like prunes. The moment has come to pull the plug.

There is one thing now you should not do (never, ever actually!):  Lying in the bathtub until the water has drained. You will never come closer to feeling like a stranded whale than when trying to raise your limp and well soaked body from the bottom of an empty bathtub. An experience that people without a bathtub are spared, of course. However, together with the whirling water, my bad mood rushes down the drain as well.

So, when I leave my Roman thermal bath in a zen-buddhistic state, nothing can shake me anymore.

Not even the man in my life, who approaches the bathroom with a spoon in his hand.


  1. Well, someone has been creative. What an entertaining and wonderfully written post!

    I had to grin when you revealed that your hubby got a spoon instead of spoiling his woman ;) Men! You have to hit them on the head with a sledgehammer so they'd get a hint.

    I have to admit, I haven't taken a bath in forever. I don't like how the skin especially fingertips feel right after all shriveled. It drives me insane.

    Glad you have your own way of escaping reality for a while and just spoil yourself in this very comfortable looking bathtub.

  2. Thanks, Joey.

    Taking a bath is indeed a very welcome relaxation for me during the winter months.